6 Simple Ways To Listen To Your Body

One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing people say ‘Just listen to your body’.

Don’t even get me started on how incredibly dismissing this is to a huge population of people who have never felt safe, let alone trusting of their bodies for their entire lifetime. In this case ‘listening to your body’ is genuinely a land mine of confusion, disconnect and discomfort.

This article is dedicated to debunking this ever so annoying phrase people are throwing around these days. If this is one of your pet peeves too, you’re going to want to get really good at doing these four things.

But first off we need to talk about the Ceptions and Memory so you can better understand the science behind why ‘listening to your body’ is a ridiculous thing to say to most people.

So what are the Ceptions?
The Ceptions are a somewhat humourous term we use in my line of work where we are referring to interoception, neuroception and a few other fancy science words that end in ception.

Today we’ll unpack two Ceptions and Memory. Let’s dig in.

1. Interoception
The working definition I’ve learned from one of my favourite teachers Dr. Kathy Kain is, any quality of sensation or sensory input that we use to evaluate our experience of what’s happening which we then use to create a referencing system. Over time we use this referencing system to evaluate and access what’s happening now in the present moment or in the future. Which means our experience of life is based off of our past referencing system.

This referencing system tells us how we are.
It gives us a basic understanding of who we are.
It determines how we identify with the qualities of self.

This referencing system also includes how we’re responding to our outside environment.

There’s a predictive element to interoception. The predictive element says, I have to go to the toilet. I begin to feel a sense of fullness in my bladder, I’ve learned over time as I developed that this sensation is affiliated with needing to go to the toilet and as I’ve been maturing I’ve gained more control over when going to the washroom happens.

So now I have this ability to determine when going to the washroom happens, I have this predictive thing that informs me that in some period of time I have to go to the toilet.

Another example is that I use it to access whether or not I’m getting sick. I have clogged sinuses, my throat is scratchy but no I’m not getting sick it’s simply April and allergy season here in Vancouver.

It’s important to know that this interoception system is developed in the context of our social cueing, meaning not just our primary caregivers but our social group as a whole. This system develops in time with the rest of our developmental systems and gets increasingly complex based on our physical developmental capacity to notice increasingly complex things. In theory we are able to make assessments on more and more complex experiences in our lives. Just to note, when we talk about developmental systems we’re talking about the developing human organism from in utero on into adulthood.

Developmentally when we have attentive, attuned caregivers we are sharing food, skin to skin contact, and we begin to develop our interoceptive vocabulary that says, this is good, I like this, I don’t like this, this is somewhat neutral.

The social cues that register in our referencing system can be from:

1. body language
2. tone of voice
3. posture
4. sounds of affection and enjoyment
5. facial expressions

For example the attentive caregiver makes little noises when sharing food, nom nom, when we’re enjoying that roast yam.

As this system is developing we’re also starting to notice things that we don’t like but aren’t dangerous because our caregivers are giving us the cues for that by saying ‘oh that’s broccoli, it’s a texture and flavour you don’t like’ but it’s not dangerous.

Basically there’s nothing in the attentive caregivers response that’s telling us this is something to be worried about.

Caregivers are also helping us do this one very crucial thing; the differentiation between excitation and threat. They’re playing with us, it’s active play, we’re learning to assess their body language, facial features, tone of voice, their postures and if the child goes - maybe this is a little bit too much for me (but it’s not dangerous) here’s where our caregivers communicate to the child this is exciting but not dangerous. As adults most people I work with have trouble differentiating between excitation and threat as the physiological response can feel very similar in our bodies if this differentiation process isn’t fully developed.

So back to the developmental process. If everything is going well with the caregiver and infant relationship we’re automatically learning these things. We’re learning an expansive vocabulary, we’re having exposure to a lot fo different experiences. We’re not neglected or left alone in our crib, play pen or with an Ipad. Disruptions can also happen if an infant or child is hospitalized for an extended period of time where the child is not developing very diverse interoceptive vocabulary. So the more limited the exposure and interactions are, the more limited the interoceptive vocabulary is for the child and later on in adulthood.

2. Neuroception:
Stephen Porges coined this term, articulating it as the learning to differentiate between safety and threat. Neuroception has in it this concept that we will have a way to notice safety and we will also have a way to notice threat. Interoception is one of the foundational elements that we use to support our differentiation between safety and threat.
So we combine interoception and exteroception (felt and visual sense originating externally from the body) and past learning experiences to inform the neuroception process. As you can see the development of these processes ought to be happening in relationship where there is consistent, contingent and congruent communication ( in terms of body language, voice tone, words, posture and behaviour) which is the essence of secure attachment.

If the attachment system was disrupted and if there’s been exposure to trauma our ability to listen to our bodies cueing will be off.

When it comes to the demographic of people I work with, people’s ability to assess information that happens inside the body as well as externally is more often than not distorted at first. Being that there was a lack of congruent communication from the external environment, social environment and caregivers. Something so simple which most of us have experienced is a caregiver or community member saying they’re not angry but their tone of voice, body language and behaviour is incongruent with the words. In adulthood we see the same thing play out.

In light of this incongruence or misalignment, self conversations will most often say that even neutral things aren’t safe or aren’t to be trusted.

3. Memory
We can think of memory as the accumulation of experience, we have this interaction in our body and brain. For the sake of keeping this article short and precise this is an over simplified version of memory and the function of the amygdala(s).

This sorting system is designed so we don’t have to access every experience as a unique experience. I like to picture the amygdala as a filing cabinet. Our amygdala will mark our experiences as being one of three things.

1. Being safe and comforting
2. Threatening and time to elicit a survival response within us
3. Somewhat neutral but significant enough to remember it

This tells the hippocampus, a neighbouring part of the brain — transfer this information from short-term experience to a long term memory experience. So then we can hold onto this information as we’ve dubbed it to be important.

So it’s like we have a little filing cabinet, saying this is important, keep track of it. So the next time we encounter something similar to this , we don’t have to go through this whole process over again.

What is this?
Is this something that’s not okay and could be dangerous?
Is this something that’s okay?
Is this a neutral experience yet still important to remember?

We have the basic markers that say this is bad, it’s dangerous send out stress chemicals. This is good, I like this, send feel good chemicals. This is neutral and significant enough to file in my memory, it’s safe to be in social connection.

If there was exposure to frightening things early on in life, in utero and/or throughout childhood, the amygdala would have been doing a lot of marking for dangerous things and our file cabinet is getting full of files that say remember this, this could be dangerous.

So when we have a new experience that we don’t already know our brain is literally and in lightening speed sorting through our referencing system aka our filing cabinet and saying tell us quickly what folder this fits in. Good, bad or somewhat neutral.

It’s also important to know that we can feel and embody the things our ancestors experiences up to three generations back which means if our ancestors were hunting in the snake abundant Amazon we may have an illogical fear of snakes or simply anything else as our dna has essentially filed that to be important and dangerous.

If we’ve experienced childhood, physical or verbal abuse or neglect our sorting system will default most of our experiencing to danger, as a default. Our bodies are always trying to keep us safe and alive so our physiology will default to a survival response.

So we’ll see most people going to their bodies and:

a) Having no clue how to objectively listen to the cues explained above or
b) When we go to our bodies we immediately think something is wrong (danger file folder is full)

Thanks to neuroplasticity it is absolutely possible to repair this referencing system.
In repairing this referencing system you would ideally go to a trained professional and talk about what’s going on, ask questions, get objective and curiosity driven cues from how your body is feeling in the present moment. Key word, body. This is the essence of rebuilding that embodied secure attachment within yourself which must be done in the presence of a secure base.

The reason why healing childhood trauma needs to be done with an attuned practitioner over time is because we have to have enough neutral or slightly positive experiences to offset and accumulate a filing drawer that is big enough for our brains to pull from that drawer instead of the fear files.

So the default stops going to fear files.

But if our whole referencing system has essentially been organized around lack of safety we’re putting the majority of our experiences into the threat folder. Which means we continue to increase the number of files so to speak even though we’re now objectively encountering neutral new experiences. This is why we can get to a tipping point with our health in adulthood even though nothing wildly different has happened in our day to day. Our bodies are always trying to keep us safe so just to be on the safe side any new experiences that happen, this sorting system will allocate them to the threat files. The file folders expand over time and we disconnect from our bodies unconsciously in most cases because that fear folder is just too overwhelming.

Are you still with me? This is a detailed article but my job is to give you all the information and not dumb things down so that you can make the best choices for your healing path.

Now that we have more education on the why behind ‘listen to your body’ being an absurd thing to say to most people let’s get into 6 simple ways you can start to cultivate your connection with your body, starting now:


1. Eat when you’re hungry, Stop when you’re full.
Our stomachs and gut biome’s have a loud voice when we’re hungry. They start to gurgle and rumble and if we leave it too long there can be physical pain. A simple thing you can do to start recognizing the cues from your body is to take note of the cues your belly sends you when you’re hungry and later on when you’re full. We've all said, ‘no thanks, I’m full’ when the basket of bread gets passed around the table one last time.’ But how do you know you’re full? Do a little self study with interoception and notice when enough is enough for you.

2. Go to the washroom when you need to.
Time for a biology break? Holding your pee in puts unnecessary stress on your bladder, ureters and ultimately kidneys. We aren’t in elementary school anymore where we had to put our hands up and wait for permission to go do a normal biological function. The next time you notice a pressure where your bladder is, this is you body telling you to make a trip to the toilet. The most basic way for us to listen to our bodies is to obey simple signs and nudges from our physiology like this one. Pee when you feel the urge, don’t hold it in. This goes for 💩 too.

3. Drink fluids when you’re thirsty.
We are already dehydrated when we get thirsty. When we get those subtle signs, dryness at the top of our mouth, dry eyes/skin or feeling sluggish, our bodies cells are already craving water. If you’re someone who forgets to drink water throughout the day, invest in a fancy water bottle or post some sticky notes around your house so you’re reminded throughout the day.

4. Rest when you’re tired.
We live in a culture where drinking coffee and munching on sugar filled snacks to keep pushing through till the end of the day is normal. Even in the fitness culture we see trends that are labelled ‘burnout’ and little emphasis is put on the importance of rest and recovery periods. Which means we are pushing our bodies to the max however we can. I hear this all the time ‘I feel guilty resting, I feel guilty being unproductive.’ If you’re tired and your eyes feel heavy, close them, let them rest. Ask yourself this —What other parts of my body want to join in this rest? These biological process are all natural. This is a first step to stop overriding your systems natural cues. Be gentle and diligent with yourself as you learn how to override less and rest more.

5. Eat foods that help you feel good.
80% of the people I’ve worked with have had a stressful relationship with food. Depending heavily on diet trends to determine what is right for their own bodies. When we bring it back to our ancestors — in this case I’ll use my own.
My Amazonian ancestors used their felt senses and connection with nature to track food much like animals in the wild do today. We would taste the berries and foliage and instinctively know what to eat and what not to eat. There is nothing wrong with trying new recipes and eating a variety of foods but at it’s most basic function our bodies need to be nourished with foods that make us feel good. After you next meal, take a moment and notice how you feel.
Energized or lethargic? Nourished or bloated? Satisfied or uninterested?
These answers should come quickly. There’s no wrong answer, it’s simply a way to help you cultivate more self-awareness with what you’re consuming. Do this for each meal for a few days and you’ll begin to know what intuitively works for your body and what doesn’t. For example if I eat fried chicken and fries in the evening, I feel satiated but I also feel lethargic, bloated and like a need a nap afterwards. Where is if I eat homemade veggie patties with arugula salad I feel energized, nourished and strong.

6. Take time off when you menstruate.
Back in the day our ancestors would menstruate on the same cycle. The woman would act as the counsellors for the villages. At the time of their periods they’d leave their tribe and go to what we fondly know now as the Red Tent. In the Red Tent days women would sit on the earth and bleed. No shame just a straight shot connection to mother earth and spiritual truths. Because we are naturally more psychic and cosmically connected during our periods, the woman would gather knowledge for their communities (from their channeling) and when they were finished they’d bring it back to their community. Rested, renewed and ready for a new cycle. The men would carry out the wisdom garnered by the women.
Now I’m not saying you need to take a week off work, and sit on the earth but start to slow your activities down about a week out from your menstruation date. In the first two days of your period give yourself permission to rest. Our uterus is hard at work shedding the layers it no longer needs so give her some support and hibernate for a day or at least a few hours. I started to do this 7 years ago and it changed my whole cycle and ultimately whole way of life.

Et Voila! No meditation required. I hope this article offered you clear guidance in getting to know the cues your bodies sends you. In order to live in true harmony with one and other we need to learn to trust the cues of our natural bodies. One step at a time. May you be whole, may you take good care of you.


All the bless,

Luana

• Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash